Entitled mother expects child to give her $90k of their $100k inheritance, child second-guesses if they should go against their grandma's last wish: ‘My grandma changed the will to spite [her]’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Apr 11, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

A loved one's last wish, if harmless, should be fulfilled by their surviving family members. Surely there are reasons for them leaving certain items and assets to specific people in their family, and nobody should try to contest that (again, unless it is clearly harmful to others to some degree). Those surviving family members, some of which might feel entitled to cash, keepsakes, property, or other assets tend to play dirty before their loved one has been put to rest… and in this story's case, a child's grandmother hasn't even passed yet and their parents are making arrangements for the 100k inheritance that will be left to them. 

The child's parents expect them to cough up a large portion of their inheritance, about 90%, when their grandmother passes away. However, they want to keep about half of the money so they have a financial cushion for themselves. A long history of lawsuits, spiteful behavior, and financial troubles lie under the surface of this big ask from the child's parents, but all has to come to light eventually. Scroll below to read the whole story.

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  • Some might come to the conclusion that the child, who clearly wants to preserve a relationship with their parents (even though this might not be a good idea) is a kind-hearted person. They don't want to disappoint their parents, but they also need to look out for themselves before life truly begins for them. Their parents played the cards they were dealt, but that doesn't mean the child needs to sacrifice what will be rightfully given to them once their grandmother finds peace in the thereafter…

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for not wanting to give my mom 90% of the inheritance my grandma is leaving me?"

    Honestly, I don't think I'm in the wrong here, I'm more so looking for advice and outside opinions. Or maybe I am actually a terrible person and this will just be an eye opener, either way here's the info. My grandma is going to be
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  • leaving each grandchild $100,000 which was originally supposed to go to my mom and aunt but my grandma changed the will to spite them because their relationship is complicated.
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  • My mom was depending on that for retirement since for reasons I don't think I need to get into, but is related to my grandma, her and my dad's entire 401k was drained about 10 years ago. My dad
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  • works full time with constant overtime and my mom hasn't worked in over 15 years and only just applied for disability recently. Their stocks are nose diving but they'll be selling the house and downsizing later on and the house is worth roughly 350,000.
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  • My mom says she'll give me 10,000 of it but honestly I want closer to 40,000. I have a fraction of what she wants to give me in savings and more would be life changing, I could even consider getting a house in the next
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  • couple years rather than wait till I'm 50. The thing is, this money will go directly to me, she doesn't get to intercept it so I could just take what I want and give them the rest. The problem with that is
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  • I love my parents and I want a good relationship with them and if I try to take more they'll likely hate me. My mom has done nothing but constantly guilt trip me leading up to this and on top
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  • of that my dad's name is on my car registration so they could take my car. If that happens I won't be talking to them anytime soon and I don't think they want that either so they probably won't try to take my car.
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  • Maybe 10,000 is plenty and I'm just being greedy, my relationship with my parents is important to me but even double would completely change my life. I just want to hear what other people think, maybe that's a bad idea but I'm so lost right now.
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  • Edit: ok wow this is a bit overwhelming, here's a bit more info for some more context. My grandma hasn't passed yet, but she's had a stroke and does not have the mental capacity to change the will. To the people
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  • calling us both vultures, are you crazy? Of course I'm trying to plan before the storm hits, I can't just hoarde the money and tell my mom I'll think about it, I need to have a plan now before my
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  • grandma dies and so my mom doesn't think I'm keeping all the money for me while I think. My grandma also didn't "loot" my parents 401k, they went to court because my grandma sued my mom. It's really complicated and even I don't know all the details so I left it out.
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    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Edit 2: didn't think I left out that many details, sorry guys but this post wasn't made for validation, I don't even really agree with the whole take the money and run crowd. I was 9 when my grandma
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  • sued my mom, I don't know what happened. All I know is that my grandpa di d in the middle of their divorce and he was going to leave my mom money, my grandma changed the will
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  • because she still had access to it and their relationship was terrible at the time and still is. I havent talked to my grandma since I was 11 since my mom wouldn't let me.
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  • My mom tried to take some things out of the house that my grandpa wanted her to have and my grandma sued her. My mom was held in contempt of court and lost everything in savings.
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  • That's genuinely all I know. I live states away from my parents and I'm in my 20s and they're in their 60s. I have a brother so they're already getting 90,000 from him.
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  • Also this is overwhelming as h I, please contain the wild reddit warrior attitudes, I didn't post this for funnsies and there are some wild comments on this post.
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  • Edit 3: some people have brought up my mom's unemployment so let me elaborate on that a bit. She used to have her own business that made her over a million in salary, which is what she's told me. The court case
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  • was so traumatizing for her that she stopped working and quit her business. She was never a stay at home mom before this happened, both my parents worked and my mom was the bread winner.
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  • Lonely-World-981 NTA. The money was left for you. Your explanation and fears perfectly describes why your grandmother decided to skip her children and gift to her grandchildren.
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  • Take 100% of it. Do not share it. If your parents take the car, buy a new one (well, a used one). I would invest 80% of it smartly, and keep the rest in something more stable and liquid (like CDs).
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  • HoodooEnby NTA. You can keep the money and still be there for your mother. You're not obligated to give her anything.
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  • CookySpooky NTA. Your grandma left that inheritance to you. It's your money, and you don't owe it to your relatives to just go along with whatever they want. If you truly want to help your mom, then keep the amount you need for yourself
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  • and give her the rest - but that amount should be your decision, not something she pushes on you. And please don't fall for the guilt- tripping. The fact that your mom is trying to make you feel responsible just shows she's not acting like a mature adult.
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  • Hefty-Squirrel-6800 NTA. I am a retired lawyer. Your grandmother did it for a reason, and it was her money. She is allowed to give it to whomever she wants. She chose to give it to you. Your only obligation is to not it away. Put it in a good retirement account and let it grow.
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  • That is what she would want. It was the same story from all of my estate planning clients. They wanted it to go to whomever they wanted and hoped that the beneficiary did something meaningful with it. So, see a competent investment advisor and invest it. (Even though the stock market is down, this is the perfect opportunity.)
    via Hefty-Squirrel-6800

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family drama inheritance aita entitled parents family feud will parenting entitled people karma entitled family reddit thread Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people
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